LIFE IS FULL of nuances. Most people aren’t always good or always bad, and the decisions you have to make aren’t all or nothing. There’s usually a middle ground.
But if you find yourself constantly thinking in absolutes, you could be stuck in a pattern of black-and-white thinking.
This habit, also known as polarized thinking, all-or-nothing thinking, or dichotomous thinking, refers to thinking in polar opposites without accepting any possibility of a gray area, according to the American Psychological Association (APA).
“The way we think is so personal and shaped by our unique lived experiences,” explains Anisha Patel-Dunn, D.O., a psychiatrist and chief medical officer at LifeStance Health. “However, polarized thinking is often an unhealthy coping mechanism that can negatively impact our mental health.”
Psychologists consider black-and-white thinking to be a cognitive distortion that “involves seeing things in terms or either/or,” says Nadia Teymoorian, Psy.D., clinical director at Moment of Clarity Mental Health Treatment Center.
Black-and-white thinking can be a symptom of a personality disorder, like narcissism or borderline personality disorder, as well as of eating disorders, depression, or anxiety, according to the APA.
But you don’t have to have a mental health diagnosis to think this way. Some people with strong religious convictions or a devotion to a political party or issue may “overemphasize their beliefs,” and that leads to black-and-white thinking, Teymoorian says. And social media, where these beliefs may be reinforced, may foster the thinking pattern.
This rigid, unrealistic thinking can affect your mental health, relationships, ability to succeed, and other areas of your life. Fortunately, you can break out of a black-and-white thinking pattern.
What Is Black-and-White Thinking?
Black-and-white thinking refers to a rigid mindset, says Christopher Hansen, LPC, Ph.D., a licensed professional counselor at Thriveworks. “It doesn’t allow the person the latitude to see nuances in situations or life in general.”
In other words, you don’t consider gray areas or middle ground.
Black-and-white thinking prevents you from seeing things for how they usually actually are, which is nuanced, complex, and always changing, according to APA.
For example, Hansen says dichotomous thinkers might believe they’ll get a speeding ticket if they go one mile over the speed limit, while others realize other factors are at play or that there’s probably some leeway.
Signs of Black-and-White Thinking
Think about how often you use these terms:
- Always
- Never
- Perfect
- Terrible
- Good
- Bad
Of course, we all use these words sometimes. But, when they come up frequently in your thoughts and conversations, you might be a black-and-white thinker.
Perfectionism, negative self-talk, a fear of trying new things, and viewing people or situations in your life as perfect or flawed, saint or sinner, or good or bad are other signs, according to Psychology Today.
Who’s Most Likely to Be a Black-and-White Thinker?
Black-and-white thinking is often a learned habit that’s influenced by a mental health condition, trauma, or other factors, Dr. Patel-Dunn says.
“Just as with any unhealthy coping technique, if it becomes a habit we repeatedly turn to in response to stress, we begin to develop a pattern,” she says. “Without awareness of these thought distortions or understanding the strategies we can use to change them, we may feel like we’re stuck in a loop of these automatic thoughts.”
Dichotomous thinking contributes to anxiety and depressive disorders. It’s also a characteristic of narcissistic or borderline personality disorder, research shows, and of eating disorders, where someone might consider certain foods good or bad.
The Mental Health Toll of Black-and-White Thinking
While black-and-white thinking can be a symptom of a mental health disorder, it can affect your mental health more broadly, as it keeps you from seeing the realities in life, Teymoorian says.
“We live in complex and uncertain times—everything and everyone is in a constant state of change,” she says.
Dichotomous thinking is an unhealthy coping strategy, similar to substance abuse or overexercising, Dr. Patel-Dunn says. This can take a toll on your mental well-being.
“When we’re not mentally feeling our best, it can be incredibly challenging to live our lives to the fullest and enjoy the things we’re most passionate about,” she says. So, it can affect all aspects of your life, including relationships and your ability to achieve.
How Black-and-White Thinking Affects Relationships
Communication is vital for all relationships. When someone is set in black-and-white thinking, there’s no happy medium when dealing with conflict or other situations, only right or wrong, Hansen says.
“So you can imagine that compromise is very difficult for someone with this type of thinking, and there is never any leeway in most things as it causes them anxiety, depression, anger, and overall angst,” he adds.
This way of thinking might also interfere with someone’s ability to see a situation objectively, so they might overreact or respond inappropriately to stressful or triggering events, Dr. Patel-Dunn says.
Someone might quit a job, end a relationship, or suddenly start viewing someone who was once a friend as a bad person, for instance.
Why It Interferes With Success
When you have limiting or polarizing views about yourself, like that you’re good or bad at certain things or define your career too narrowly, it can inhibit your ability to accomplish your goals, Dr. Patel-Dunn says.
Research also links black-and-white thinking to perfectionism, which is driven by a fear of failure and often causes emotional distress.
At work, dichotomous thinkers might view their jobs and abilities in a rigid way. This might cause issues with co-workers, who might view dichotomous thinkers as negative, not team players, or not forward-thinking, Hansen says.
How to Break Out of Black-and-White Thinking
You might not even realize you’re a black-and-white thinker. But, you might notice that you’re experiencing regular emotional distress as a result of your unrealistic expectations or rigid thoughts, Teymoorian says.
Since you’re programmed to think this way, it can be difficult to break free—but, it is possible. Start by learning to redirect your thinking.
“One thing people can do on their own is practice catching themselves anytime they feel a mental or physical symptom and then see if they can identify the thought that is causing the anxiety,” Hansen says.
Challenge yourself to replace words like “always” and “never” with “sometimes” or “maybe,” and to consider a new viewpoint about a person or situation, Teymoorian adds.
You might need to work with a mental health professional, especially if dichotomous thinking is interfering with your day-to-day functioning, Dr. Patel-Dunn says.
Cognitive behavioral therapy can help you learn to question automatic thoughts by recognizing that not all thoughts are facts and understanding the root of certain thinking to work through thought distortions, she explains.
“It may feel challenging at first, but our brains can rewire through what’s known as neuroplasticity,” Dr. Patel-Dunn says. “You can train your brain to think differently by practicing new habits repeatedly.”
Basically, you’ll learn to replace negative thoughts with more realistic and healthy ones, Hansen adds. Eventually, the new way of thinking becomes your norm.
Erica Sweeney is a writer who mostly covers health, wellness and careers. She has written for The New York Times, HuffPost, Teen Vogue, Parade, Money, Business Insider and many more.