Anton Lienert-Brown is an All Black, and a very popular one at that. With 79 Test caps to his name, and the responsibility of serving as a vice-captain for this weekend’s Test in Japan, it seems Lienert-Brown is living what many in New Zealand would consider the dream.
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But, there’s another side to Lienert-Brown that should also be commended. All Blacks are built up to be nigh on indestructible God-like figures in New Zealand, but the 29-year-old has spent years expressing vulnerability while advocating for mental health awareness.
Lienert-Brown spoke with RNZ in 2020 about some challenges, and later opened up on trying to be vulnerable in a chat with Rugby World’s Alan Dymock. Today, the All Black is an ambassador for Mind Set Engage, which is a New Zealand Rugby mental health programme.
As someone who had seen others share their own experiences with mental health issues, the midfielder wanted to do the same. “That’s where my passion grew,” Lienert-Brown said, before going on to explain the challenges he had faced.
“For me, it was anxiety,” Lienert-Brown told Paddy Gower on The F#$&ing News.
“It built up over two or three years. I probably pin it down to whenever I put myself in a place of judgement, I used to get massive anxiety and funnily enough I started professional rugby at 18 years old so I was put into a place of constant judgement week in, week out.
“Through the years from 18 to 21, I probably didn’t look after my mental health that well. I was striving to be the best rugby player that I could be and I was constantly in the limelight or places of judgement.
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“Over years, my anxiety got worse and worse, to the stage where daily I was having constant panic attacks and it got really difficult.”
It was both refreshing and powerful to see such an established athlete talk about their own mental health challenges in depth. As the All Black made clear, there isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution to managing these issues, but Lienert-Brown openly revealed what worked for him.
Lienert-Brown spoke with a psychiatrist during the early stages of his professional rugby journey. That psychiatrist gave him an antidepressant called Citalopram which increases serotonin to also help manage anxiety.
“It spirals with thoughts. For me, it was around my heart and I’d just feel like it wasn’t beating properly or it felt like I was more or less having a heart attack,” Lienert-Brown explained when asked about panic attacks.
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“With the anxiety, it would just spiral and spiral and spiral to the point where I would have a panic attack. When I first had one, it felt like I was having a heart attack but I wasn’t.
“It’s hard to explain to someone who hasn’t experienced it. I remember I had a friend through high school who had pretty severe anxiety and he would talk to me about his experiences and I couldn’t understand it.
“Until you experience anxiety or experience something similar. It’s hard to understand… for someone that hasn’t experienced anxiety, it’s hard to explain, how can you get yourself into such a spin that you feel like you’re having a heart attack?”
As a takeaway from that interview, Lienert-Brown’s advice for everyone and anyone was clear: don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and “ask someone for help.” Last year, legendary All Black Sir John Kirwan spoke with RugbyPass about managing mental health.
In New Zealand, if you or anyone else needs support, there are multiple organisations that can help you.
- Lifeline – 0800 543 354 or free text 4357 (HELP)
- Youthline – 0800 376 633
- Samaritans – 0800 726 666
- Suicide Crisis Helpline – 0508 828 865