Several years ago, in an episode of Iyanla Vanzant’s show, “Fix My Life”, on the OWN network, Iyanla had several men on her show who fathered multiple children by multiple women. Iyanla, one by one, urged the fathers to confront their inner demons and issues. In other clips of this series, Iyanla also confronted the women who were a part of these multiple-child relationships.
At one point in the show, Iyanla said that there were 50 men, with a total of 87 children by multiple women. With the exception of a few, many of those children have been growing up with a steady father’s presence in their lives. This can lead to many issues for their daughters, not to mention their sons repeating the same cycle of behavior. In fact, during the episode, a majority of the men did not have a long-term healthy relationship with their biological father. And this not only affects the mental health, but also their physical health.
Research from a long-term Howard University Family Study reveals that Black men raised in single-parent households could have higher blood pressure as adults than those who grew up in two-parent homes.
The study, which examined data from 515 men participating in the HUFS and the first of its kind to link the living arrangements of children to adult pressure in Black men, found:
- Men who lived with both parents during one or more years of their childhoods had 4.4 mm Hg lower systolic (top number) blood pressure than those raised entirely in single-parent homes.
- Black children who live with their mothers alone are three times more likely to be poor, and those who live with fathers or a non-parents are twice as likely to be poor.
- A critical period during childhood (ages 1 to 12) and a potential mechanism through which the early life socio-familial factor operates may influence adult blood pressure.
This is the first study to link childhood family living arrangements with blood pressure in Black men in the United States, who tend to have higher rates of high blood pressure than American men of other races. The findings suggest that programs to promote family stability during childhood might have a long-lasting effect on the risk of high blood pressure in these men.
Although the study found an association between a single-parent upbringing and a higher risk for high blood pressure, it did not prove a cause-and-effect link.
Tips for Maintaining Physical and Mental Well-Being in the Context of Family Dynamics
- Seek Supportive Relationships: Whether or not you grew up in a two-parent household, cultivating supportive and healthy relationships is essential. Surround yourself with positive role models and mentors who can provide guidance and emotional support.
- Prioritize Mental Health: The psychological impact of growing up in a single-parent household can be significant. Engage in regular mental health check-ins, whether through therapy, counseling, or support groups. Acknowledging and addressing emotional wounds can prevent long-term mental health issues.
- Manage Stress: Chronic stress, especially from unresolved childhood issues, can lead to high blood pressure and other health problems. Practice stress-reducing activities like meditation, exercise, and mindfulness to keep your physical and mental health in check.
- Break the Cycle: If you experienced an absent or inconsistent father figure, be mindful of repeating this cycle in your relationships. Make a conscious effort to be present and engaged in your children’s lives, ensuring they have a stable and supportive upbringing.
- Healthy Communication: Open and honest communication within families is key to building trust and resolving conflicts. Encourage discussions about feelings, experiences, and challenges to strengthen family bonds and foster a sense of security.
- Educate Yourself on Parenting: If you are a parent or planning to be, educate yourself on effective parenting strategies that promote stability and well-being for your children. Books, workshops, and parenting classes can provide valuable insights and tools.
- Promote Financial Stability: Financial stress can exacerbate health issues. Work towards financial stability by setting realistic goals, budgeting, and seeking financial advice if needed. Stability in finances can reduce stress and provide a better environment for raising children.
- Regular Health Screenings: Given the link between childhood experiences and adult health, especially high blood pressure, ensure that you have regular check-ups. Early detection and management of health issues can lead to better long-term outcomes.
- Foster Community Connections: Engage in community activities that offer support, resources, and a sense of belonging. Community involvement can provide additional emotional support and help mitigate the effects of an unstable family environment.
- Reflect and Heal: Take time to reflect on your childhood experiences and how they’ve shaped your current life. Healing from past trauma or instability is a continuous process that requires self-compassion and sometimes professional help.
Implementing these tips can help mitigate the long-term effects of growing up in a single-parent household and promote a healthier, more fulfilling life.